Having trouble getting your little one to sleep through the night? This guide will help you understand some of the most common pitfalls-and how to avoid them-including how to establish a routine and what to do if your baby falls asleep before bedtime.

Sleep is essential to everyone's health and well-being, but especially for babies. Research has repeatedly shown that sleep is a foundational cornerstone of cognitive and physical growth, and when babies get plenty of Z's, they also get plenty of opportunity to grow and thrive. Sleep can, however, seem elusive to some parents—and if you don't get it, you'll leave your family cranky and exhausted.

When it comes to baby and toddler sleep, there are no silver bullets. Not even wacky online advice claiming to teach you how to put a baby to sleep in 40 seconds. Having to learn the hard way from sleep mistakes is the fate of most parents of young children.

Here are some of the most common (and challenging) sleep mistakes parents make with babies and young children. Even the best-laid plans can be sabotaged by a lack of a bedtime routine or letting your baby sleep in before bedtime. Make sure your child stays asleep by avoiding these common sleep mistakes.

Skipping the Bedtime Routine

The majority of people need time to wind down before bed, and babies are no exception. In addition to helping your child relax before bedtime, a bedtime routine can also help you bond as a couple.

Megan Faure, an occupational therapist and author of The BabySense Secret, says routines help babies settle into sleep more quickly and need less support to fall asleep. Although it may seem time-consuming and rigid, it will ultimately save you energy and time."

Begin your routine at least thirty minutes before bedtime. The curtains should be closed, the room should be dimmed, and you should prepare a feeding. The first step to soothing your baby is to take a warm bath. After that, take them straight to their room and dress them in a darkened room with soft music playing.

After feeding your baby, read him or her a story. Finish by settling them into their beds.

Disregarding the sleep cues of your baby

Kim West, LCSW-C, author of The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight, says that babies and toddlers send out signals when they're tired. In addition to eye rubbing, yawning, slowed activity, whining, and fussing, these are some of the signs of boredom.

Watch your little one throughout the day, and you'll probably find a pattern about when they need to nap and go to bed. You might see those signs if you go to a quiet, dimly lit room and engage in a gentle activity before bedtime if you are unable to see them.

Faure says you should remove an overtired and overstimulated child from stimulation, place them in a quiet space, and spend a few extra minutes relaxing them before bed.

Creating Sleep Crutches

If you're utterly exhausted at 3 a.m., you'll do pretty much anything to get your newborn to sleep. They are usually rocked, nursed, walked, swinged, sang, rubbed back, etc. In West's view, these simple habits become sleep crutches once your baby reaches 3 or 4 months of age.

When these behaviors are so closely associated with slumber that the child cannot drift off without them, they become a problem -- or a crutch.

You will need to rock, nurse, swing, or sing your baby back to sleep each and every time he or she wakes up during the night. However, you shouldn't allow your child to fall asleep completely while engaging in these activities.

To teach your child to fall asleep on their own, put them to bed drowsy but awake.

 

It's Too Soon to Switch From Crib to Big-Kid Bed

Parents often make this mistake," says Faure, who recommends waiting until your toddler attempts to climb out of his or her crib on their own and is at risk of hurting himself. She adds that crib sides provide a useful barrier until your baby can understand and obey verbal boundaries (such as "Stay in your bed").

You can approach the transition from a toddler to a big kid two ways, according to West:

• The cold turkey method simply removes the crib and replaces it with a new bed. The bed should be guarded on both sides (or the rail should be on the open side if the bed is against the wall).
• If your child falls out of the crib, leave the crib rail down and set up a stool at the side.

It is also possible to use the gradual approach to transition from crib to bed. West says that you can read books on the bed or let them nap in the bed if you can fit the new bed and crib in the same room. Then, plan the big night where your child will sleep in his big kid bed at night." Once your child sleeps in the big kid bed at night, you can remove the crib.

Make sure your child knows not to get out of bed without you, no matter what method you choose. In case your child gets up to explore in the middle of the night, childproof the room and consider putting a gate at the bedroom door.

Make the transition fun for your child by letting them choose their own quilt and sheets for the new bed, but resist the urge to sleep with them. It may take you months or even years to get out of that rut! West warns.

 

Putting Them To Sleep Wherever You Are

It's not fun to be reliant on your child's sleep schedule, but naps in strollers, car seats, or high chairs don't provide your baby with restorative sleep. Your baby's evening schedule can also be upset if they nap too close to bedtime.

Your baby needs to sleep in a familiar sleep area, preferably in a bassinet or crib, where they take most of their naps and sleep at night. It is possible to work around this rule for important events and appointments, but you should always try to stay consistent.

While you're napping, try to run errands. To prevent your baby from falling asleep in an unfamiliar environment while you're out at night, get a babysitter or a family member to assist you.

 

Not Sticking With a Sleep Schedule

Sleep consistency is key with children, says West. They need regular naptimes and reasonable bedtimes to regulate their hormones-and their little hearts and minds need predictability to feel safe."

The pediatric sleep specialist at National Jewish Health in Denver, Lisa Meltzer, PhD, agrees: "Sleep schedules are extremely important to setting our internal clocks. Consistent sleep schedules will help children fall asleep around the same time every day. The body doesn't know when to fall asleep if the schedule is constantly changing; it's like flying back and forth across time zones."

According to Dr. Meltzer, bedtime struggles often result from inconsistent schedules, where parents are trying to put their children to bed too early (when they are not tired) or too late (when they are exhausted).

Research shows that babies who don't get enough sleep can develop behavioral problems by age 7.3 when they don't get enough sleep.

Flexibility is certainly possible. Your child may nap more on some days and less on others. It will be easier to adjust the schedule once you learn to recognize [their] sleep cues," says West.

The sleep schedule you have in place for your child is probably good if your baby is content. When they're fussy and demanding, they may require longer naps, an earlier bedtime, a later wake-up, or all of the above.

You Should Make Sure Your Kids Get Enough Sleep

The seventh of ten

Letting Them Stay Up Late, Hoping They'll Sleep In

Teenagers like to sleep late, so why not give them the chance to sleep until noon the next day? Little ones can't do that, unfortunately.

According to Dr. Meltzer, young children are typically woken up around the same time every morning by their internal clocks. Thus, parents who let their children stay up late will wake up to an overtired child."

You may want to consider setting a bedtime for your child instead, in order to ensure that they get the sleep they need each night. It is recommended that infants sleep 10 to 15 hours, toddlers sleep 11 to 14 hours, and preschoolers sleep 10 to 13 hours each night, according to the National Sleep Foundation.4

Some children are just early birds, but if your child is up way too early (before 6 a.m.), it may indicate that he or she is going to bed too late. Set an earlier bedtime for your children by 30 minutes or even an hour.

Making Sleep Decisions in the Middle of the Night

There's no denying it: Making wise decisions at 2 a.m. is challenging. The biggest sleep mistakes parents make happen when their children wake up in the middle of the night. The biggest issue, according to West, is reactive cosleeping. When a family co-sleeps to get their child to sleep, it's not because they've decided to co-sleep together.

It is also during this time that sleep crutches are necessary. Parents are inadvertently creating more crying when they give up after a certain amount of time and resort to their original sleep crutch. He cried for 30 minutes, then I got him out and rocked him to sleep because I couldn't take it anymore."

When you do this, the baby learns that if he cries, you will later give him what he wants, and he will have to repeat the process throughout the night.

When you feel like you aren't making good sleep decisions for your child as a result of sleep deprivation, ask for help. Sleep deprivation is a serious health concern for new parents for the next six years after the birth of their first child.5 Studies show sleep deprivation can disrupt new parents' sleep for up to six years.

It's beneficial to have someone else wake up in the middle of the night occasionally, so that you are guaranteed to make the right choice when it's time to wake up!

Not Being on the Same Page

Getting children to sleep better requires parents to unite, says West. Your routines can be slightly different, but you need to make all big decisions in advance in order for your child to learn to self-soothe." It's OK for your routines to be slightly different, but important decisions need to be made ahead of time.

In addition to deciding when to put your baby to sleep, you also need to decide whether you're going to rely on sleep crutches. A parent cannot decide to rock a child to sleep every night and at bedtime if the other parent does not want to do so.

Especially for parents, being exhausted can lead to crankiness and difficulties making decisions.6

Burnout among parents. Association for Psychological Science. 2021/202.

Decide what works for you both and sit down to discuss it. To get a good night's sleep, you must be consistent every night.

Giving Up Too Soon

Bad sleep habits can be changed at any time, but parents must practice patience. The goal of changing a habit you've developed with your child for months and even years cannot be achieved quickly, says West. To see significant improvements in night sleep and napping, parents need to commit two to three weeks to sleep coaching.

In some cases, parents mistakenly believe that their child's sleep habits will change on their own and that they can endure sleep deprivation in the interim. The statement is simply untrue, according to West.

After some time and effort on your part, your baby-and everyone else in the house-will soon be able to sleep peacefully through the night. Invest the time and effort into it, it will be worth it.

Also Read This Article: Science-based tips for sleeping an overtired baby